In Sickness And In Health.

My friend, despite her best efforts, gets shakes in the night. She moans and she groans and screams when she wakes. Sometimes, she can't wake, but somehow she does, and it just goes to show that you can't trust the diagnosis. They say that she's born with it. It's predispositional.

My friend has problems with winter and autumn. The doctors give him prescriptions, and they shine bright lights on him. They give big mirrors and tell him to stare. They're try to cure something that might not be there. They say he can't help it. They say it's genetic. They say you can catch it, but sometimes you're born with it.

My friend is forgetful. He forgets where he lives, who we are, who he is. They do all sorts of tests and exercises to make him remember. The doctors say he hit his head while getting out of bed, but I don't believe them. We don't live in a fairy tale world where children's rhymes are plausible.

My friend is sad. She's a wreck, she a mess. The doctors have done all sorts of tests, but they've decided it had something to do with grandfather's grandmother, who was saving war soldiers that probably infected her. Still, through her misery, she manages. She strips in the city for cash, and gives them her best shows.

My friend has problems with blubber and image. She thinks she's too fat, but it's dangerously low. Vomiting would solve all her problems, or so she thinks. She hasn't gone to the doctors, but the diagnosis is obvious. They say you can catch it, but sometimes, you're born with it.

With me, I'm well. I mean well. Well, I mean I'm in hell. But I still have my health -- at least that's what they tell me. But if wellness is this, what in hell's name is sickness? I've gone to the doctors, but they can't tell me what's wrong. But I know there's something there, and I've been wondering what is inside of me. I can't run from it. I can run from the pity. I can run from my life. I can run from the law. I can run from the country. I can run from the city. I can run into debt. I can run from it all. I can run for the office. I can run from responsibility. I can run until I'm gone. I can run using every last ounce of energy. But I cannot run from myself.