My First Time.

They don't realize I control the world. They don't realize that I manipulate their existence. I am chlorophyll. I am protein. I am those pearly white gates. I am that river of souls. I am that three-headed dog. I am that man with wings. I am the dead. I am the living. And I am everything in between.

Lazily, I etch oceans and carve rivers. I raise mountains and flatten hills. I trace shapes in the clouds and play with the wind. I create hurricanes and aggrandize dust devils. I create and I destroy.

This is my first time.

Letters.

If an assessment of this play is to be made, please keep the following in mind. I wish to know things you liked and disliked, but more importantly, things that didn't make sense, confused you, or plot holes that you've discovered. All components will be used in the betterment of this play.

Please keep in mind that this is a rough draft. Edits will be made to set, plot, characters, ect. I should also point out that I have only mentioned character notes that are essential to the composition of the play.

Lighting Note
Each time a character reads a letter aloud, all lights should be off except a single spotlight on said character. Each shall go through the same routine during a letter scene. A spotlight will come up on the character writing. The said character will sign the letter with a flourish, stand and start reading aloud. Once they have finished, they will take an envelope out of the desk drawer, place the letter inside, and seal it with a wax stamp.

Set Notes
The main set should consist of three flats. On one side of each flat, there should be a panel that will make up the backdrop for the general castle. Different movable set pieces will determine which room is being presented. On the other side of the flats, there should be a town street backdrop, to give the illusion that there is a road running down the center of the stage.

Characters:

Claude-Madame Laguerre's spy. He does not actually interact with any character.
Laguerre-Queen of a neighboring kingdom. She has sent Claude to collect various tidbits of information from Perte's kingdom. Her name means "The war" and she should be very aggressive. Although her regal status is never mentioned, her garb should clearly reflect her royalty.
Perte-King of the kingdom Claude was sent to; does not know of any reconnaissance activities, but suspects something is amiss. Believes he can trust Claude. His name means "loss".

Dinner Guests/Monsieur Perte's Trusted Advisers/Members of the Court:

Madame Gourmandise-Literally, her name means "Gluttony." She should be very corpulent.
Madame Avarice-Her name means Greed. She should don expensive looking jewelry and garb.
Madame Orgueil-Her name means Pride. This character should act very snooty and condescending.
Madame Jalousie-Obviously, her name means Jealousy. She should act envious of the other women, and admire their clothing, jewelry, ect.
Madame Concupiscence-Her name means Lust. She should be very flirtatious, and very scantily clad (for said time period).
Monsieur Luxure-The name means Sloth. Often, he appears to be missing an article of clothing, simply because he is too lazy to finish dressing himself.
Monsieur Colére-His name means Wrath. A knife is often noticed tucked in his belt, boot, tunic, ect.
Monsieur Morte-His name means Death. He should appear very thin and gaunt.
Monsieur Confiance-His name means Trust. He is the goody-goody of the court, also a sort of adviser to the king. He is constantly worried about getting into trouble.
Monsieur Claude-This character should look and sound identical in garb, hairstyle, mannerisms, ect. to the aforementioned Claude. They are, essentially, the same person. This character does interact with the rest of the court.
Man-A commonplace, elegantly dressed man. Plays a variety of small male roles.
Woman-The female counterpart of Man. Also elegantly dressed. Plays a variety of small female roles.

*Note: Each time Man or Woman appears, they should be wearing a different costume to differentiate the change of character. They do not need to be drastic changes.


Opening scene: Claude's Bedroom Chamber

Three walls, the center containing a window. Each wall is slanted towards the center of the stage (i.e. center is straight, stage left and right are slanted inwards). The door is stage right. There is a small bed stage left, positioned with the foot of the bed facing the audience. A large chest is at the foot of the bed, with an large lock on the clasp. A simple wooden desk is positioned in the center of the room, covered in various pieces of parchment, along with an inkwell and a quill. A candle and a wax stamp are resting on the desk as well. There are a number of empty inkwells lying on the floor beside the desk.

Letters

Claude is hastily writing a letter at the desk. He finishes the letter, finally, signs it with a flourish, and examines the paper. He stands and starts reading the letter aloud. Almost as soon as he speaks, the flats will rotate to the city side. The bed and chest should be moved offstage when this happens, but the desk should remain. When the flats are rotated, a gap needs to be present between the center and stage left flat to form an alleyway.

CLAUDE: Dear Laguerre, everything is going according to plan. I have done as you instructed and infiltrated the palace. I have started to gain the trust of the king. But these were dangerous and tedious tasks, indeed. (Enter Monsieur Claude stage left). I have done many a thing I wish I had not. (Enter Man and Woman stage right. Man notices Monsieur Claude and leaves Woman's side to confront him. Monsieur Claude darts into alleyway, Man follows. Man falls out of alleyway, obviously dead. Woman is shocked, backs away. Monsieur Claude enters again, chases Woman and kills her. Exit Monsieur Claude. No one, except Claude, makes any sort of verbal noise.) I have deceived those that need not be deceived. No matter. I am strong. I am vigilant. But I digress. I am confident in my ability to earn the trust of the king. I am fairly certain this deed has already been accomplished, but I must do a few more things to ensure that the king's need for trust is satiated. I will await further instructions once this has been attained. Your humble servant.

(Examining letter) Yes, this should suffice. As long as I do not reveal my name, I shall remain safe from...Well, everyone. (Takes an envelope out of desk drawer and places letter inside. Seals envelope with wax stamp and hastily addresses it. Exit stage left. Blackout.)

(Lights up on Laguerre sitting at desk, writing. Signs with flourish, stands, reads aloud.)

MADAME LAGUERRE: Dear my humble servant, well done. When you return, you will be greatly rewarded. It does not matter what you do to accomplish your goal, so long as you are not caught. Kill who you need to kill. Deceive who you need to deceive. Their lives had to be sacrificed for the greater good. When you fully earn the trust of the king, send a letter posthaste. I shall await with further instructions. Your Queen(Exit Madame Laguerre. Close curtain, remove desk.)

(Enter Woman onto apron, dressed in peasant's clothing, looking cautious, as if she is in a place she is not supposed to be.)

(Entering from opposite side)
MONSIEUR CLAUDE: You! What are you doing here! You belong in the town, not the palace! Guard!

(Enter Man, dressed in guard uniform)
MAN: What is it, sir?

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Take this peasant to the dungeons! (To Woman) Maybe that'll teach you to stay where you belong!

(Exit all)

(Curtain opens, revealing Claude holding another letter)
CLAUDE: Dear Madame Laguerre, I have succeeded. I have earned the trust of the king. I shall not bore you with the details, but know that it involved a peasant sneaking into the palace. I sent her to the dungeon, knowing that the king would appreciate the favor. It worked. His trust is mine. I shall await further instruction. Your humble servant. (Exit Claude, lights up)

(Enter Madame Avarice, followed by Madame Jalousie)

MADAME JALOUSIE: ...But Madame Avarice, you must tell me where you bought that beautiful necklace! Surely it wasn't made in this kingdom? I've never seen anything like it!

MADAME AVARICE: You're right. I was tired of the petty jewelry made in this realm, so I sent out a servant and I told him, I said, "Don't you come back until you've found something fit for a queen!" And of course, it had to look expensive! And, well, this is what he brought back. I was expecting something more ostentatious, but I suppose this will do. He said he bought it in the kingdom of Bartemand. I've never heard of it. Have you, Madame Jalousie?

MADAME JALOUSIE: Oh, no! Where do you suppose it could be? It must be very far away...

(Exit Madame Jalousie and Madame Avarice. Lights fade as they are exiting.)

(Lights up on Laguerre at a desk.)

MADAME LAGUERRE: Dear my humble servant, again, well done. Your next task is to collect information concerning Monsieur Perte's armada. Things such as tactics or weapons, anything of that nature. It is imperative that you are not caught. I must be discreet and sly if I hope to win this attack on Monsieur Perte's kingdom. Do not fail me. Your Queen.

(Spotlight off on Laguerre. Exit Laguerre. Lights up on Monsieur Claude sitting at a desk, reading Madame Laguerre's letter.)

MONSIEUR: "...Do not fail me. Your Queen." But how I am supposed to accomplish this? I don't know where the king keeps that sort of information. (Ponders. Then jumps up in excitement.) I know! Monsieur Confiance! He's the king's adviser! He knows almost everything there is to know about the king! (Exits while lights fade)

(Lights up in Monsieur Claude's chamber. In the desk's place, there should be a table set for two with the food already on the table. Multiple bottles of liqueur should be placed by the foot of the bed.)

(Monsieur Claude is sitting on bed, looking anxious. He jumps up and starts pacing, mumbling to himself. Knock on door. Monsieur Claude bounds to it and opens it. Monsieur Confiance is standing in the entryway.)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Why, hello Monsieur! So glad you could make it! Come in, come in!

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: Yes, isn't it. Well, let's get this over with. I have things to do and people to see.

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (Taken aback at CONFIANCE's abruptness) Oh, well! Sit down! Can I offer you something to drink? A flagon of ale, perhaps? I just bought it today!

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: (Sitting down) Oh, uh--Certainly. One couldn't hurt, could it?

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: No, never! (Snatches up a bottle of ale and pours it into two metal flagons, handing one to CONFIANCE and placing the other at his own plate) Drink up!
(CONFIANCE takes flagon greedily and gulps in down in a matter of seconds)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (Shocked by CONFIANCE's actions) Oh! Would you like another flagon of ale?

(CONFIANCE nods, and fills his plate with food when CLAUDE's back is turned, eating ravenously. MONSIEUR CLAUDE picks up a few bottles of ale, turns around and is appalled again by CONFIANCE's gluttony. CLAUDE shakes his head, refills CONFIANCE's flagon, places the rest of the bottles on the table, and sits down. CLAUDE dishes up a small amount of food for himself. The meal is eaten in silence. CONFIANCE should consumes more ale than food.)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (After CONFIANCE has consumed a considerable amount of alcohol): So, you must be pretty close to the king, huh? I bet you know all sorts of things about him.

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: (Drunk): Oh, yes, lots o' things! *Hic!* His fav'rit flower, his fav'rit wine...(Trails off)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: So then you would know how to get into his bedroom chamber?

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: Yeah...The only key is on a string aroun' his neck, he doesn't let anyone touch it --Wait, why would you need tha'?

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (Backpedaling): No reason! I'm just curious, that's all!

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: Nah, I know what yer tryin' ta do! *hic*(Stands, swaggers over to CLAUDE) Yer tryin' to sneak a present inta his room! It's his birthday soon, ya know? O' course ya do, tha's why yer askin'! Well, the king made tha' key hisself, ya know. Prides hisself in his metalworkin'. Doesn't usually let other touch the key, bu' maybe, if yer real nice about it an' compliment him, he'll let ya touch it. Dunno what good that'll do ya, though! (Laughs raucously and promptly falls over, passed out)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Oh dear. I'd better get you back to your chamber. (Helps CONFIANCE to his feet and then helps him towards the door. Exit CONFIANCE and CLAUDE as lights fade and curtain shuts.)

(Enter MADAME ORGUEIL and MONSIEUR COLÈRE onto apron.)

MADAME ORGUEIL: But really, you must try to fix your hair. It's disheveled and it looks terrible. But my hair, on the other hand, looks wonderful. See how it gleams in the light? See how perfect each individual curl is?

MONSIEUR COLÈRE: (Irritated) Yes, yes, that's nice. You're starting to annoy me. (Fingering handle of knife tucked into belt) Most people don't like to annoy me.

MADAME ORGUEIL: Really now! Now, if you had my patience, you wouldn't ever become annoyed. Honestly, you should try more to be like me. I'm perfect in almost every way. Some might even call me a goddess amongst humans!...(Trails off)

(Exit MADAME ORGUEIL and MONSIEUR COLÈRE. Curtain opens to reveal MONSIEUR CLAUDE pacing in his bedroom.)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: How am I supposed to get that key? If he never takes it off, then how on earth am I supposed to get copy of -- (Steps on something soft) Ugh! (Reaches down and peels aforementioned object off of boot, holds it up and examines it) A piece of clay? How did this get in here? It must have fallen off Monsieur Confiance's boot. No matter. I'll just throw it -- wait a second. (Examines clay closer) That imprint looks familiar... (Glances at shoe, back to clay. Shoe. Clay. Shoe. Clay.) OF COURSE! (Dashes offstage. Curtain shuts)

(Enter MADAME CONCUPISCENCE and MONSIEUR LUXURE onto apron)

MADAME CONCUPISCENCE: Come ON, you slowpoke! I don't have all day!

MONSIEUR LUXURE: But it takes so much effort! It'd be so much easier just to lay in bed all day.

MADAME CONCUPISCENCE: Ooh-hoo. Yes, wouldn't it? That's not all we'd do in bed. (Beat) Well, hurry up, I'm not getting any...younger. (Chuckles)

MONSIEUR LUXURE: (Reluctantly) As you wish. But may I take a nap after this?...

(Exit MADAME CONCUPISCENCE and MONSIEUR LUXURE. Curtain opens to reveal MONSIEUR CLAUDE conversing with PERTE)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: I've heard that you make wrought-iron figures. Is this true, sire?

MONSIEUR PERTE: Yes. It's true. Where did you hear that?

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: It doesn't matter where I heard it. I've also heard that your skill surpasses the master blacksmith's.

MONSIEUR PERTE: (Flustered) Well, I wouldn't say that --

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: I've also heard of an beautiful key you've created as the key to your bedroom. I have to see it for myself. May I?

MONSIEUR PERTE: I really shouldn't...(Considers options)
Oh, alright! But only because I trust you, Claude! Here it is. I made it myself. (Withdraws an intricate, wrought-iron key from on a string around his neck)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: It's wonderful, sire.

MONSIEUR PERTE: (Beaming) I made it myself! No help from anyone else! No siree!

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: May I...touch it, your Highness?

MONSIEUR PERTE: I don't see why not. It won't do it any harm. (Whispered) Just don't tell anyone else about this meeting! (Offers key to MONSIEUR CLAUDE)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (Taking key) Oh, thank you, sire! (He presses the key in between his palms, as though praying)

MONSIEUR PERTE: Err, what are you doing?

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (Fishing for a reason) Err, uh...I'm...praying to the gods! (Bows head) Dieu merci!

MONSIEUR PERTE: Why are you praying now?

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Because it's not often one gets to touch the wonderful metalwork that our glorious King Perte makes! (King looks flattered)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE:(Removes key from palm, hands it back to PERTE) Here you go, your Highness.

MONSIEUR PERTE: Thank you, Monsieur Claude. Good day.

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Good day, sire.

(Exit MONSIEUR CLAUDE and MONSIEUR PERTE. Curtain closes.)

(Enter MONSIEUR MORTE and MADAME GOURMANDISE onto apron)

MADAME GOURMANDISE: You wouldn't be so thin if you would eat more!

MONSIEUR MORTE: What's the point? We all die in the end. Nothing gives me happiness, and nothing will.

MADAME GOURMANDISE: Don't say horrid things like that! Food is my joy in life, maybe it will become yours! And another thing! I don't want to hear your gloomy talk about death! Why can't you talk about something cheerful for a change?

MONSIEUR MORTE: What's the point? I'm not happy. Why should I seem happy?

MADAME GOURMANDISE: Oh, honestly! (Storms offstage, MONSIEUR MORTE follows reluctantly. Curtain opens on MONSIEUR CLAUDE in the city at a blacksmith (Man).)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (Holding a piece of clay with an imprint of key identical to MONSIEUR PERTE's key) Now, listen closely, I need you to make this key imprint into a real key. Can you do that?

MAN: Yeah, but it'll cost ya.

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Money is not an issue. (Takes out five sacks and tosses them at MAN's feet)

MAN: I'll see what I can do.

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Good. (Hands MAN key imprint) I'll be back soon to pick up the key. (Starts to leave)

MAN: Just one thing...

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Yes?

MAN: Why do ya want a copy o' the king's key? (At these words, MONSIEUR CLAUDE stops dead, turns slowly to face MAN.)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: What makes you think it's the king's key?

MAN: (Pointing to imprint) Well, if ya look here, it has tha symbol o' tha royal fam'ly. (MONSIEUR CLAUDE rushes at MAN, dagger drawn.)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (Holding dagger at MAN's throat, through gritted teeth) It doesn't matter what I need that key for. What does matter is that you stay quiet and be a good little blacksmith. And you WILL stay quiet, if you know what's good for you. Got it?

(MAN whimpers)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: GOT IT?

MAN: Yes! Yes!

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Good. Because if I ever catch word that you've blabbed, it's the end for you.

(MONSIEUR CLAUDE releases MAN, MAN gasps for breath, MONSIEUR CLAUDE rushes to door)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Remember; your lips are sealed. Or else. (Draws finger across throat, exits)

(MAN stares at door, trying to catch his breath. Lights fade.)

(Lights up on CLAUDE sitting at a desk. CLAUDE signs with flourish, ect.)

CLAUDE: Dear Laguerre, it has come to my attention that I am not sure what to do if I am caught. I do not think I will be, rest assured, but I need to know, just in case. Enough of that. I have discovered a way into the king's chamber, where he keeps information on his army. I had the town blacksmith forge a copy of the key to Perte's chamber. (Takes out identical key on a string around his neck and fingers it) Unfortunately, he suspected that it was the king's key. After he finished it, I had to kill him. Soon, I shall gain entry into Perte's chamber and report back to you with information on his army. I will not fail you. Your humble servant. (Puts letter in envelope, stamps it, places it in jacket pocket. Claude exits, curtain closes.)


(Enter MADAME AVARICE and MADAME ORGUEIL onto apron.)

MADAME AVARICE: Surely you don't expect me to believe that your jewelry is of finer quality than mine!

MADAME ORGUEIL: Yes, I do! It's true, as well. I can prove it.

MADAME AVARICE: There's no way! My servants carefully select my rings, necklaces, brooches, bracelets, and earrings! I punish them if it isn't fit for royalty! It's finer than your little trinkets!

MADAME ORGUEIL: (Outraged) How dare you! Well, we'll just see about that!

(Exit MADAME AVARICE and MADAME ORGUEIL. Open curtain and lights up on king's chamber. It should be similar to CLAUDE's room, but it should have items that indicate it belongs to royalty.)

(Door handle jiggles. Door opens and MONSIEUR CLAUDE pokes his head in. Seeing there is no one in the room, he enters, closes the door quietly, and walks over to the desk and starts looking at the papers inside and on it. Lights fade.)

(Enter stage left (from no specific doorway) MONSIEUR PERTE followed by MONSIEUR CONFIANCE.)

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: Your Majesty! Your Majesty!

MONSIEUR PERTE: Huh? (Turns around) Oh, yes, what is it?

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: (Out of breath) There was...I saw...

MONSIEUR PERTE: Well, what is it? Spit it out!

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: I saw someone sneaking into your chamber!

MONSIEUR PERTE: What?! Who was it?

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: I don't know, sire! The door closed before I could get a good look at them!

MONSIEUR PERTE: (Furious) No one is allowed in my chamber! NO ONE! (Storms offstage, followed by MONSIEUR CONFIANCE.)

(Lights back up on MONSIEUR CLAUDE rifling through the desk.)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Where on earth could he keep those papers?... (Picks up a sheet, examines it) Aha! Here we are! Let's see what else we can find...

(Knock on door, MONSIEUR CLAUDE stops and stares at the door. Another knock. MONSIEUR CLAUDE grabs a stack of papers, knocks over a candlestick, accidentally drops the letter he wrote earlier (this should be obvious), and frantically looks for a place to hide. He spots the chest by the foot of the bed, rushes over to it, and climbs inside. The door bursts open and MONSIEUR PERTE and MONSIEUR CONFIANCE enter the room. MONSIEUR PERTE spots the disheveled desk and roars in fury. He stalks over to it and rummages through the papers violently. He notices the letter that MONSIEUR CLAUDE dropped, picks it up, and opens it. He reads it, and his face registers shock and horror.)

MONSIEUR PERTE: (Gravely) Monsieur Confiance, I fear we have a traitor in our midst.

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: (Nervously) W-who do you think it could be, sire?

MONSIEUR PERTE: I don't know, but I intend to find out.

(Exit MONSIEUR PERTE and MONSIEUR CONFIANCE, taking the letter with them.)

(MONSIEUR cracks the lid of the chest up a tiny bit to see if the king and CONFIANCE are gone. Seeing that they are, he clambers out of the chest, and exits silently and swiftly. Lights fade.)

(Lights up in corridor, court members crowding around a piece of parchment posted on the wall. Enter MONSIEUR CLAUDE stage right)

MADAME GOURMANDISE: Oh, how splendid! A banquet just for us! His majesty is so kind! (Start, to exit stage right)


(Slowly, the crowd around the parchment disperses.)


MONSIEUR CLAUDE: Excuse me, Madame, what's going on?

MADAME GOURMANDISE: See for yourself! (Laughs and exits)

(Slowly, the crowd around the parchment disperses.)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (Pushing towards the paper) Excuse me, pardon me.

(Once he reaches the paper, everyone should have left. He should be the only one reading it.)

MONSIEUR CLAUDE: (Reading aloud, scanning over everything) "...There is to be a royal feast in three days. Everyone in the royal court is to attend. King Perte has a very grave matter to discuss with everyone. Signed, Monsieur Confiance."

(Stunned) Oh, no. This is not good. Not good at all...I must write to Madame Laguerre for advice. (Exits stage left in a cloud of confusion. Lights fade, curtain closes.)

(Enter CLAUDE onto apron from stage left. He does not go through the aforementioned letter process.)

CLAUDE: Dear Laguerre, I need your help. I was foolish, and I left a trail. I was almost caught. But I am not suspected, nor am I in trouble. I am writing to you because the king in holding a feast in three days. This is directly after the incident I mentioned. I fear this may be used as some trick to worm me out. What should I do? Your humble servant. (Exit CLAUDE stage left.)

(Enter MADAME LAGUERRE stage right)

MADAME LAGUERRE: Dear my humble servant, do not fret. You may have blundered, but so long as your name is not questioned, you shan't be caught. As for the feast. Do not eat anything. King Perte may be oblivious, but he does suspect something. He may try to poison the food. I repeat, do not eat anything. Hopefully, someone else will be framed in your stead. Your Queen. (Exit stage right.)

(Curtain opens on the feast scene. There is a long banquet table, covered with all sorts of food and drink. MONSIEUR PERTE is seated at the center of the table, MONSIEUR CONFIANCE to his right. MONSIEUR CLAUDE is seated at the very end of the table, the furthest from MONSIEUR PERTE.)

MONSIEUR COLÈRE: So, Your Majesty, tell us what you wished to discuss.

(Others express their concurrence.)

MONSIEUR PERTE: (Holding up a hand to silence the guests) Not yet. I wish to save it until after the meal has been eaten.

MADAME GOURMANDISE: I agree! This food looks delightful!

MONSIEUR COLÈRE: (Distraught) Oh, all right.

MADAME ORGUEIL: (Haughtily) You should learn some respect!

(Guests start arguing)

MONSIEUR PERTE: Please, please! Let's not quarrel! We came here to eat, and so we shall. Dig in!

(The guests start eating and conversing amongst themselves. MONSIEUR CLAUDE doesn't talk to anyone, and doesn't eat or drink. He puts the cup to his lips, but does not drink. He raises his fork to his mouth, but discreetly slips the food away.)

(Enter CLAUDE stage right onto apron.)

CLAUDE: What happened next at the meal, I shall never forget. (Turns to watch the meal.)

(The meal is finished, and the guests give the impression that they couldn't eat or drink anything else.)

MONSIEUR PERTE: (Calling offstage) Frederick, the wine!

(MAN enters stage left, dressed in servant's clothing and carrying a single goblet and a bottle of wine. He places the goblet in the center of the table, uncorks the wine, and pours it into the goblet. He places the bottle next to the goblet.)

MAN: Anything else, your Highness?

MONSIEUR PERTE: No, that's all, Frederick. You are dismissed.

MAN: Thank you, sir. (Exits stage left)

MONSIEUR MORTE: Surely you do not expect us to drink any more! We'll stuff ourselves to death!

MONSIEUR PERTE: (Smiling deviously) Ironic words, Monsieur Morte. For you see, today I visited the town alchemist. I told him that I needed a poison that would act quickly and would cause an excruciatingly painful death.

MADAME AVARICE: But why would you need that?

MONSIEUR PERTE: (Smiling wider) I'll tell you why. Three days ago, I received word that someone had broken into my private chamber. When I arrived upon the scene, my desk was askew and papers were strewn everywhere. It was obvious there were looking for something. Upon further examination, I discovered this. (Withdraws MONSIEUR CLAUDE's dropped letter.)

MADAME CONCUPISCENCE: (Laughing) A piece of parchment?

MONSIEUR PERTE: Yes, a piece of parchment. But this isn't just any piece of parchment. It's a letter. Addressed to Queen Laguerre. In it, the writer is asking what he shall do if he is caught.

MADAME ORGUEIL: Caught doing what?

MONSIEUR PERTE: Spying.

(At this word, all guests shift uncomfortably.)

It seems that the writer was searching my room for our battle tactics and other information on our army, and was supposed to report back to Queen Laguerre. It seems we have a traitor in our midst.

MONSIEUR LUXURE: (Yawning) But what does this have to do with the wine?

MONSIEUR PERTE: It has everything to do with the wine. You see, I have had my eye on someone for quite some time now. I suspect that they are the turncoat.

CLAUDE: As Monsieur Perte told us of his plan, I felt my heartbeat increase.

MONSIEUR PERTE: I have poisoned their meal. And just in case they were sly and chose to pretend to eat, I have poisoned their cutlery as well. This poison is a unique kind. It can be ingested or absorbed though the skin, and it will have the same affect either way. If they have chose to pretend to eat, then I must say they have missed out on a delicious meal, indeed.

(The guests murmur amongst themselves nervously)

CLAUDE: My palms started to sweat. Was it the poison, or was it nerves?

(The guests exchange looks of accusation, shock, and fear.)

MADAME JALOUSIE: You still haven't told us what the wine has to do with this.

MONSIEUR PERTE: Ah, yes. The wine. It, of course, contains the antidote. By drinking it, the perpetrator will save himself from a grisly death, but at the same time, reveal his true identity. Either way, they will die. It's just a matter of how.

(Silence)

CLAUDE: My mouth was filled with a bitter taste and my vision swam. Was it the poison, or was it from watching a delectable meal be eaten right in from of me? I don't know.

(Silence)

MONSIEUR PERTE: (Urgently) If that spy does not show himself, there will be a death at this table!

(MONSIEUR CONFIANCE jumps up, snatches the goblet and drinks it down.)

CLAUDE: I was so busy trying to remain calm that I did not notice Monsieur Confiance jumping up and gulping the wine down.

MONSIEUR PERTE: (With mild shock) Confiance! You? Surely not!

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: Yes, your majesty! I was drinking one night, and someone asked me about your key! I told them how to get it! I'm sorry! I don't remember who it was! Anyway, I thought you knew?

MONSIEUR PERTE: This is most unfortunate, indeed. I trusted you. No, I did not know. That was simply a facade. No matter, you've poisoned yourself.

MONSIEUR CONFIANCE: W-what do y-you mean?

MONSIEUR PERTE: Oh, the food and cutlery wasn't poisoned. No, that would have been too obvious. It was the wine.

(MONSIEUR CONFIANCE's eyes bulge out, and he falls on the floor, writhing in pain. Curtain shuts.)

CLAUDE: I wasn't ever discovered. Monsieur Confiance took the blame, just as Madame Laguerre said would happen. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to report back to Madame Laguerre.

(Spotlight off CLAUDE. Curtain opens into the corridor. All dinner guests are standing spread out in the dark, holding letters. CLAUDE joins them.)

(Spotlight up on CLAUDE. He withdraws a letter from his jacket pocket.)

CLAUDE: Dear Laguerre, I have evaded discovery. Someone else took the blame for me. I shall continue to collect information and report back to you. I will be more careful, as to ensure this does not happen again. You humble servant. (Folds letter and stands with hands folded behind his back, looking at audience.)

(This next bit is done in a round. When a person starts speaking, a spotlight will go up on them.)

MADAME GOURMANDISE: Dear Madame Douleur, I have evaded discovery. (MADAME AVARICE starts reading here) Someone else took the blame for me. I shall continue to collect information and report back to you. I will be more careful, as to ensure this does not happen again. You humble servant. (Folds letter and stands with hands folded behind her back, looking at audience.)

MADAME AVARICE: Dear Monsieur Sang, I have evaded discovery. (MADAME ORGUEIL starts reading here) Someone else took the blame for me. I shall continue to collect information and report back to you. I will be more careful, as to ensure this does not happen again. You humble servant. (Folds letter and stands with hands folded behind her back, looking at audience.)

MADAME ORGUEIL: Dear Madame LaHaine, I have evaded discovery. (MADAME JALOUSIE starts reading here) Someone else took the blame for me. I shall continue to collect information and report back to you. I will be more careful, as to ensure this does not happen again. You humble servant. (Folds letter and stands with hands folded behind her back, looking at audience.)

MADAME JALOUSIE: Dear Monsieur Maladie, I have evaded discovery. (MADAME CONCUPISCENCE starts reading here) Someone else took the blame for me. I shall continue to collect information and report back to you. I will be more careful, as to ensure this does not happen again. You humble servant. (Folds letter and stands with hands folded behind her back, looking at audience.)

MADAME CONCUPISCENCE: Dear Madame Lafamine, I have evaded discovery. (MONSIEUR LUXURE starts reading here) Someone else took the blame for me. I shall continue to collect information and report back to you. I will be more careful, as to ensure this does not happen again. You humble servant. (Folds letter and stands with hands folded behind her back, looking at audience.)

MONSIEUR LUXURE: Dear Monsieur Traîtrise, I have evaded discovery. (MONSIEUR COLÈRE starts reading here) Someone else took the blame for me. I shall continue to collect information and report back to you. I will be more careful, as to ensure this does not happen again. You humble servant. (Folds letter and stands with hands folded behind his back, looking at audience.)

MONSIEUR COLÈRE: Dear Madame Tromperie, I have evaded discovery. (MONSIEUR MORTE starts reading here) Someone else took the blame for me. I shall continue to collect information and report back to you. I will be more careful, as to ensure this does not happen again. You humble servant. (Folds letter and stands with hands folded behind his back, looking at audience.)

MONSIEUR MORTE: Dear Monsieur Conflit, I have evaded discovery. Someone else took the blame for me. I shall continue to collect information and report back to you. I will be more careful, as to ensure this does not happen again. You humble servant. (Folds letter and stands with hands folded behind his back, looking at audience.)

(Lights fade after the last "Your humble servant" is spoken". Curtain closes.)

FIN.

Belligerence.

Think of it.
Life is simply moments in a zoetrophe.
Spinning together to make up our insignificant lives. Our hopeless endeavors.

Why do we still try? We have struggled for thousands of years. We have always fought. There has always been killing. Destruction. Hatred. Nothing beneficial really comes from any of it. We have advanced in scientific technology. For what purpose? To make more weapons. For killing. What good comes of hope? Of joy? Of happiness or love? Is there some grand scheme that no one has discovered? Perhaps God doesn't have a plan for us. Perhaps there is no God. Or what if, perchance, there is no Satan either? Perhaps there is no us, no human race. We are all dreaming this. Sort of a surrealistic moment. A surrealistic series of moments. There is no you. There is no them. There is only me, and who I make up. I have perfect control over everything, everyone, and anyone that happens. The subconscious takes over. Once we learn to control the subconscious, we have absolute control over reality. But once we master the subconscious, it is no longer the subconscious. Alas, the woes of man.

Something has changed within me. And to be quite honest, I am not the same. I am tired of playing by the rules of someone else's game. I want to make up the rules. If it is my world, why is it that I cannot choose how life is governed? I am through accepting limits because someone says they are so. Some things I cannot change but until I try, I will never know. If I end up losing everything I am frightened of losing, then it is my fault. But if I do lose everything that was dear to me, then what do I have to lose? I want to fly. I want to soar. I want to see the tops of the clouds and climb the thermals. And to those that would ground me and shatter my dreams; take a message back for me. Tell them that this is mine. They cannot change it. I have nothing left to lose.

On and on. Does anybody know what we are living for? Close your eyes and leave it all to chance. This seems a fair comparison to how the human race is carrying itself. Topping the bill. Owning the kill. Wanting to be the best, but not exactly quite certain as to how. Yet, we still find the will to carry on. Discovering. Examining. Existing. When will we be free of this vicious cycle? One day, we'll fly away, to leave all of this chaos to yesterday. But living from dream to dream is not a wise decision. We must not dwell on soon-to-be's or possibilities, but what is present. Now.

We find ourselves hurtling through space on a stone of immense proportions, fighting and loving and breathing and thinking and existing. Revolving around a huge ball of fire. We are all smashed together onto one colossal rock with nowhere else to go. Man is undying, and therefore he will die endlessly. He will never truly stop existing because somewhere, there will be a small piece of the human race. But at the same time and place, it will constantly die. For this is the curse of mankind; to perpetually quarrel with itself. It is a hopeless battle, filled with despair and pain and fear. But it is also filled with hope and joy and love.

All right, enough. So be it. Let all of mankind be agreed, it is opprobrious. Obliteration is what it was created for, and it will cast itself unto oblivion until the end of time.

Little White Truths.

So what? I lied. Lots of people lie. I'm sure if you asked anyone, they would be able to tell you their most recent lie, what it was about, and why they told it. I'm think I'm not the only one. Fuck, I know I'm not the only one. But I also told the truth. You think I'm just a little fucker who only manipulates everyone around him. You think I'm awful. You think I don't deserve to live. Maybe I don't. Maybe I do. Who knows? Maybe I should just take this gun lying on the bed, put it against my head and pull the trigger. Or maybe I should continue with my pathetic excuse for a life, pretending that I never had this talk. Continue being the selfish, manipulative bastard that you think I am. It seems everything I do, you detest me more and more. With every word I speak, you wish you could cut out my tongue, just to make sure that I don't say anything ever again. But I also told the truth. Can't you see? Can't you see that I'm only trying to survive? You. You think I do this for fun. You think I do this just to get a kick out of seeing others squirm in discomfort. Yes, I lied. So what? Stop saying that. I told the truth. Stop it. I'm only doing this to ensure my sanity. Do you really think I would tell them that without a motive? Do you really think I'm happy? Fuck you. I'm not. Every day is a struggle. I don't know which way to turn. Creating confusion and chaos is the only way I can lower everyone to my level.

You know, they say good things come to those who wait. I've waited my entire life. Where the fuck is mine? Why am I not happy? And for the last time, shut the fuck up. I know I lied. But I also lied to myself. It's not my fault. Well, in a way, yes it is. But how can you blame me? How could you say that this is my fault? I never wanted to believe that you could lie, and that friends could deceive. I wonder what it's like to be like you. You, with your perfect friends and your perfect family and your perfect everything. You are exquisite in every way. But you hate everyone. Why? Not everyone is as lucky as you. Sometimes, fate falls short. Sometimes it forgets to gift the rest of us because it's too busy spending time gifting petty things to people like you. How can you say you've made a difference in the world? How can you say you've made a difference to anyone? You're so fake. You're so materialistically demanding. You want things. You need things. You don't care about anyone. You wouldn't care if the whole fucking world blew up and you were the last human left on Earth. As long as you had everything you wanted. Stop it. For the last fucking time, I know I lied. Fuck. You are not special. You are not significant. You are not a unique snowflake. You are simply part of this filth called society. Part of the uniformity. Part of hell. This is your life, and it is ending, one minute at a time. Fuck. If you tell me that I lied one more fucking time, I am picking that gun up off the bed and firing two warning shots. Into your head. I am not joking. When do I ever joke? I have to find the will to carry on this conversation. Do you know how much self-control this is taking? You little bastard. I'm only doing this for you. Yes. What a surprise. No, I'm not lying. What did I fucking say? That's it. You're dead to me. Yes. Dead. Literally. Bang! Bang! Ah, that's much better. Now I won't have to listen to your twittering little voice again. Never again will you accuse me of lying. Oh no. Never again. I told you. I never joke. Nor do I ever lie. I told you, I'm not lying. I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you, I told you. Stop accusing me! Bang! Bang!